Executive Summary: A return to this project, because I finally have a bit of time. In this installment, I will focus on the narrow scope of my own life in 2019 (likely a year none of us remembers at all!) So, enjoy this, whilst sequestered in your home, enduring the intensity of the ongoing pandemic, and I hope this chapter finds you in good health and spirit.

If you are curious about what the heck this Wrap thing is, start here.

—Sooze, Portland, February, 2021.

The Stuff of 2019

Highlight: Launching my podcast And The Next Thing You Know was definitely my big news in 2019. It’s about how our lives go exactly not as we planned them. This observation seems less keen now than ever, I’ll tell you. Still, if you’re a fan of intimate conversations and good laughs, and like to hear how people forge their disappointments and grief into creative triumphs, or just hold them as meaningful experiences, give it a listen! And if you like it, subscribe and tell your friends!

♣ I had my first on-mic conversation with a podcast guest in January, and finally started scheduling on-mic talks on a semi-regular schedule!

♣ Emily and I celebrated Anniversary #3 in a cabin nestled betwixt the redwoods and the sea in Gualala, California, in March. 

♣ Em and I took a great trip to Santa Cruz in June, celebrated Santa Cruz Pride weekend at the Dyke Trans March, saw Frootie Flavors and Polythene Pam play, biked all over town, had a blast.

♣ I visited my Portland people in June – Barry, Ricky, Dave, Mel and the kids. Lovely time was spent, as usual!

♣ My relationship with whiskey was much, much better in 2019. For background on this matter, see the 2018 Wrap.

♣ Gave a guest lecture in my friend Jessie’s graduate psychology class on consensual nonmonogamy. That was super fun. I love one-off teaching and speaking opportunities, but I don’t think I’d have the stamina and discipline to do it regularly. Hats off to teachers!

♣ Had a sweet visit with my dear friends and former Peace Action comrades Heather and Jon J. and their kids in June. Not sure when I had seen Heather last, probably near a decade ago.

♣ Bought a one-gallon ceramic crock for making sauerkraut! And matching weights to keep said kraut submerged!

♣ Hung out in the Cove with Em, Lissin, Hearty, and Kai a couple times, always so relaxing and lovely. 

♣ Brief visit with Genne in August!

♣ Portland again in August, this time to welcome Steph and Marley to town!

♣ Decided to find a different housing situation, and landed in Berkeley in December.

In Memoriam

A new section of the Wrap. Because people keep dying. This year, two people I knew passed.

Jane, the grandmother of my nephews Josh and Jonathan and my niece Jenessa. Jane was 89, and was living her best life when she died peacefully.

The other person I knew who died this year was Russell. He worked as the bouncer at OMG, one of the former, but regular, venues of my queer karaoke community. I saw Russ almost every week for a few years. What a sweet guy, always there for a hug and a catch up, always the first friendly face you saw walking into the bar. Russ died infuriatingly too soon. He was only 50, and died of a heart attack after a work shift.

May Jane and Russell’s memories be a blessing to all who knew and loved them.

The Media & Culture I Consumed in 2019

The Books I (Almost) Read

This year, I returned to form by not making it all the way to the end of a single book. These are the books I read a significant chunk of, but did not finish by the end of 2019, listed in no particular order, but I’d recommend them all:

Like Water and Other Stories by Olga Zilberbourg (finished in early 2020). Spare, thinky short stories and flash fiction that etch deep into the bicultures of Russian/American, childhood/adult, parent/nonparent experience.

Spider Love Song and Other Stories by Nancy Au (finished in early 2020). Beautiful stories of people living, thriving, and disappearing, told through food and street life in Chinese neighborhoods in San Francisco, and floppy elephant trunks. You can listen to my conversation with author Nancy Au on the podcast, right here, or in your podcast app.

Living In Flow: The Science of Synchronicity and How Your Choices Shape Your World by Sky Nelson-Isaacs – fascinating meditation on living with intention, and how choice involves a heuristic both of abstract will and physical reality.

Love’s Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities  by Kevin A. Patterson – a practical resource for addressing the cultural white supremacy in sex positive spaces to meaningfully increase inclusion and equity. The book is about this specific milieu, but could be used to guide organizers in all kinds of nonprofit or corporate space and community.

The Podcasts I Listened To

New favorites in 2019: 
The Beef and Dairy Network Podcast * The Anthropocene Reviewed * Reply-All * Strong Songs * 1619 * Dolly Parton’s America * Twenty Thousand Hertz * I Don’t Get It with Noah Tarnow and Bill Scurry * Queersplaining * Song Exploder *

Still listening to (select list): 
Judge John Hodgman * 99 Percent Invisible * The Allusionist * Ear Hustle * Savage Lovecast * WTF with Marc Maron * Answer Me This * The Sporkful * Radiolab * Everything Is Alive.

I also finally became a monthly donor to the Maximum Fun podcast network.

The Movies I Watched

A note on movie and TV ratings: Stars (one to five) mean how “good” I think the thing is; ranked order (first through last listed in each category) means how much I enjoyed the thing relative to the other things in the category, regardless of how objectively “good” it is.

The Last Black Man in San Francisco (2019) **** Poetic and powerful.

9 To 5 (1980) ***** Re-run, still one of my favorite movies of all time, maybe even my very favorite.

If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) **** Barry Jenkins is an extraordinary director and writer (this film is based on James Baldwin’s novel.)

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009) *** 

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017) *** I was a little undwerwhelmed, but still worth seeing the dramatization of the origin story of the Wonder Woman comics in an alternative, kinky family stucture.

The Wave (2015) *** ½ Norwegian thriller about a rockslide that crashes into a fjord and causes a massive tsunami. Super fun and scary! Definitely watch with subtitles, not dubbed in English!

Grease 2 (1982) re-run **** I still love it.

Magnolia (1999) re-run ****

Paris Is Burning (1990) **** If you’re into Pose, this documentary of the 80s New York ball scene by filmmaker Jennie Livingston is a must-see for your queer edification.

Ask Dr. Ruth (2019) *** ½ A documentary about the surprisingly remarkable life of Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

Supervolcano (2005) ** 

The Quake (2018) ** ½ – Sequel to The Wave. 

Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) ***

The TV Shows & Web Series I Watched

Bojack Horseman, S5 & 6, part 1 (2018, 2019) ****

Russian Doll S1 (2019) ***** Mindblowing.

Orange is the New Black S7 (2019) ****

Schitt’s Creek, S1, S2, S3, S4 (2015-2018) **** I watched a Moira scene in S4 like half a dozen times in a row and could not stop laugh-bawling.

Supernatural S12, 13, 14 (2016-2018) ***1/2

Her Story (2016) *** 1/2 – independent web series written, produced, and starring Jen Richards and Laura Zak, and also starring Angelica Ross. A really lovely six-part short narrative series centering trans women’s experience. The writing is new, and, like a lot of new writing, non-subtle, but the production quality, Jen Richards’s and Angelica Ross’s performances, and the story quality are high, and it’s worth seeing.

Supernatural re-runs: S1, S2, S3

Black Mirror, of note, Bandersnatch (2018) ****

Broad City, S1, S2, S3, S4, S5 (2014-2019) *** ½ – a lot of wicked laughs to be had, and one of the most unbelievable Hillary Clinton moments ever. I will not spoil it for you if you haven’t seen it.

Stranger Things S3 (2019) ****

Glow S3 (2019) ** ½ Not as good as the previous seasons, but curious about how they’ll wrap it up in S4.

Bob’s Burgers S4, S5 (2013-2014) ****

Atypical, S3 (2019) ***

Jamie’s Quick and Easy Food, S1 (2017-2018) *** Helpful, entertaining simple cooking tips with Jamie Oliver.

Queer Eye S3, S4 (2019) ****

PEN15 S1 (2019) ***

Tales of the City (2019) *** The flashback episode with Jen Richards (see Her Story, above) as Ana Madrigal is worth the watch. 

Live Performance

Remember when we could go out in public? These are the shows I saw in 2019. In chronological order, and not rated.

Helen Zaltzman, The Allusionist, at SF Sketchfest 2019 at Brava SF, with Amy. Here’s a taste of one of Helen’s live performances, her TED Talk from 2017.

Sky Nelson-Isaacs (see books section) – author reading at Books, Inc, in Berkeley. 

Mortified, featuring my very own buddy Jen Kirmse performing her piece “Horace Hears a Ho,” at the DNA Lounge, SF, with Em.

Polythene Pam, soft vowel sounds, etc – various and sundry locations, including Laughing Monk Brewery, SF, and the Santa Cruz Dyke Trans March, 2019.

Frootie Flavors with Eddie and the Heartbeats at El Rio, SF, and same lineup at the Poet & Patriot pub in Santa Cruz, with Em. 

Grease – live show atop Mt. Tam, in the midst of a very cold and wet fogbank, with Em, Rachel, and Tony.

Pete Holmes in conversation with Matt Haber at Cobb’s SF, with Jen

How To Have a Body – Gina Stella del’Assunta’s live show, at the LGBT Center in SF

Pansy Division and Homobiles, Pride Weekend 2019, at the Ivy Room, with Em. 

The Red Shades workshopping performance at Z Space, SF, with Clarissa

Sleater-Kinney at the Fox Theater in Oakland, November 16, 2019, with Allison, Dani, Kelle, Maria, & Alice. 

And that’s (finally!) the wrap on 2019.

xo
Sooze